I'll do Anything
by Jade S
Summary: A sorta sad 'lil fic from Matts POV about the divorce! Takes place when Matt's seven and TK's four. It's rated PG13 for more mature issues and language. Please read and review!


A/N: Oh boy, why is it that every time I'm even the slightest bit depressed I write about Matt!?! Actually, I'm not even depressed today, Believe it or not I'm in a really good mood, but seriously one little thing goes wrong (You know, like that jerk I call a boyfriend not calling after he promised he would AGAIN! After paying like no attention to me all day AGAIN! My parents threatening my internet conection if I don't do the dishes AGAIN! And me babbling on about stuff no one cares about *Sigh* AGAIN!) and poof, I'm writing depressing Matt stories!   
  
Anyway now that I've gone and gotten all mellow dramatic on you (Sorry 'bout that!)this story is about the divorce! But I've gotta warn you that Matt's dad comes across as kinda abusive in this, so if your gonna flame me for writing him like that TURN BACK NOW! I mean c'mon people, I know his dad isn't really like that, I know he's that nice guy who works at the TV station and I do try to fix that towards the end so that it fits his character, so don't get mad at me, OK!?! This whole fic is from Matt's POV, actually it's kinda like that story I wrote about Tai (What happened next) format wise. Or in other words it starts out with Matt thinking about whatever which is followed by a flash back and then his thoughts again. Also, I don't want to hear about how unrealistic my divorce court is, you'll see why when you read it, which I'm going to allow you to do now! So....  
  
Enjoy!  
  
  
  
~~~  
I'll do anything  
~~~  
  
If I had to describe my whole life in one word, that word would have to be alone. It's been that way forever, I've never fully been whole like that, never truly understood what it meant to have a friend, never really wanted to, well not to a point where it would all make since anyway. Now one might say that I've never really been alone, that's someone's always been there, that someone's always and will always care. They'd probably remind me of the fact that I have friend's and a family who love me, but there not me and therefore they could never truly know, what I've been through, and who I really am. Hell, I don't even know that, I don't even know who I am, so how could anybody else even come close to knowing how I feel.  
  
I have friends, yeah, sure I do, maybe they think of me as a friend, and maybe I want to think of them in that same way, but can I really ever feel that strongly for them, am I really capable of feeling that way about anyone? They deserve better, a lot better, a lot better then to have a heartless jerk like me as a friend, or as anything for that matter, they deserve better.  
  
And as for family, what family? My family's been shattered into a million pieces with no hope of ever being reconstructed as one. I live with my father, and I barely even know my mother anymore. And had it not been for this disastrous adventure we had embarked on here in this misconstrued world in which we were destined to protect, would I even know my brother? Would I even have a reason to get up in the morning, a reason to go on and to live? Probably not. TK is my whole reason from living, without him could I have survived this long? I doubt it.  
  
That's one of the reasons I hated my family, not my brother who gave me a reason for living, but my parents, my parent's who took that reason away from me, my parents who nearly condemned me to death. Though I live with my father I'm almost always alone, that's why I know how to cook so well, that's why I'm so distant at times, it's because that's what I'm used to, being alone, and the way things are now, I'm anything but, in a physical since anyway.  
  
I remember it so clearly though, how easily my family had been torn apart. And I guess I really don't have any business blaming my parents the way I do, because it's not really there fault, they're not the one's that changed, they're not the ones, and if anybody could be held responsible for the whole ordeal, that person would be me.   
  
I'm the reason my parents fought, I know, because I couldn't help but listen to every word, and my name was always mentioned above all others, it was usually my dad who was angry and my mother trying her best to defend me. My father could get so mad sometimes and so mean, he rarely got physical but even when he didn't, when my dad got mad he was a tyrant. It really seems that they only fought when I did something wrong, and I was always doing something wrong. This would lead me to answer the hardest question that I would ever be asked in my entire life.  
  
~~~Flash back~~~Four years ago~~~  
  
  
"Yamato Ishida get your ass out here immediately!" I could here my fathers booming voice from the room I shared with my little brother, but I didn't want to acknowledge it. Maybe I thought that if I just lay still and remained silent he would go away, maybe he would calm down, but I knew from the start that I was deluding myself, and the sound my dads enormous fist pounding on my bed room door only confirmed my fears.  
  
"MATT!" He shouted and I shoot up from where I lay to pull the door open revealing the form of my enraged father behind it. "Matt do you know who called me today while I was at work?" My dad asked his voice a little calmer yet still laced with anger.   
  
I bit down on my lower lip as I stared up at him, thankful only at the fact that Mom had taken TK with her when she'd gone shopping. "N-no..sir..." I managed to stutter though I knew perfectly well that he was referring to the call the principle had made to him today after that short lived fight on the playground. I had begged him to call my Mom, that she would be more understanding, that my dad would be sure to find a punishment twice as harsh as my mother would but somehow the comment had influenced him to call my dad even more.  
  
"You were in another fight today, weren't you?" He asked as if he didn't know, and I remained silent not knowing what to say. "WEREN'T YOU!?!" He screamed getting up in my face and my stomach churned at the inevitable sent of alcohol still on his breath.  
  
"Y-yes." My lip was quivering as I took a step backwards and holding back the urge to release the tears which now formed in my eye's.   
  
"Don't you walk away from me boy!" He exclaimed gripping my wrist in the harshest manor and yanking my back toward his drunken form. I found my self wishing, no praying that Mom would return, return and defend me the way she always did return and stop my father before he could do any more harm, before the tears began to fall from my terror filled eye's. But it was to late for that, tears were already streaming down my face, already causing me to chock on my own muffed sobs, and I knew that even if my mother did return it wouldn't be good, I couldn't let TK see me, not like this.  
  
"Are you crying!?!" My father asked glaring down at me with hateful eye's. "You think your so tough, that you can fight every kid who gets in your way but if I so much as yell at you for it you start bawling like a little baby, well I'll give you something to cry about!" He exclaimed as he released his grip on my wrists and gave me a hard punch to the abdomen causing me to real back and grip my stomach in pain. "There now you can cry all you want, fighting isn't so fun when you realize what a weakling you are is it Matt!?! Maybe you'll remember that next time you feel the need to start something with one of your classmates!"   
  
And with that he was gone slamming the door behind him a leaving me to cry alone in the dark. Alone, it was better that way, better to be alone and scared then to be with the one person who scared me the most. I climbed back into my bed where I had been laying before and held my aching stomach as I let the tears continue to fall from my puffy red eye's. It wasn't long before I was in a deep dreamless sleep.  
  
  
~~~The next day~~~  
  
"Matt, honey wake up, it's time to get ready for school." Came a sweet voice breaking through the darkness that had engulfed me. I knew instantly that it was my mother, that my dad had left for work at least an hour ago, and that it was obviously morning. Apparently my Mom hadn't heard about yesterdays little incident at school other wise she'd know that I wouldn't be attending school for another week, Dad must have fallen asleep on the couch the way he'd done so many time's before when he had been drunk, before Mom and TK had returned home from the store.   
  
"Mom didn't dad tell you?" I asked sleepily and then when it was obvious that she had no idea what I was talking about I added. "I got in a fight yesterday, the principle suspended me, for a week this time."  
  
"Oh Matt." My mother sighed and I could see the smile disappear from her once shining face. "I thought we talked about this, you promised you wouldn't get an any more fights." She finished, and I felt a small tinge of guilt knowing that what she said was true.  
  
"I know but...." I began trying to come up with a good excuse but my Mom cut me off.  
  
"But nothing honey." She started letting her voice remain calm as she did so. "Just go back to sleep, we'll discuss this later, I'll assume that you fathers already punished you and leave it at that." She said and I could tell that it hurt her to do so knowing that she was all to right. And she was, though I knew she wasn't thinking about the fact that he'd hit me, which wasn't something he did often and never when she was around. She was just referring to the fact that he'd yelled at me, and she knew that when he yelled it was punishment enough.  
  
She gave me a weak smile before leaving the room, and I knew how disappointed she was in me. I then turned my attention to the small child sleeping across from me and all I could think of was thank God he hadn't been here last night, and that my father tended to focus his anger on me. If he ever lay a hand on my little brother I don't know what I'd do, I don't know if I could survive that.  
  
I stayed in my room most of the day, though she hadn't said it I had this feeling like I was supposed to be grounded or something, like last nights punishment no matter how severe hadn't been enough, though I knew that the pain both mental and physical exceeded that which I deserved. It was late when my father came home that night, both TK and I were already asleep but I stirred at the sound of him opening the door to our apartment.  
  
It was evident that he was drunk again because the next thing I heard was the sound of something glass, most likely mom's vase crashing to the floor in the hall. "Honey what was that...." I could hear my Mom ask and then trail off obviously seeing the shattered glass. "Dammit that was my favorite vase!"  
  
"Oh shut up, that vase was a piece of shit and you know it!" My father yelled back, his words coming out slurred and sloppy.   
  
"Stop yelling you'll wake up the boys!" Mom replied in a much softer tone then dad was using.  
  
"I'll stop yelling when I feel like it, you don't tell me what to do!" Dad said not changing his tone.  
  
"Just stop yelling, I hate it when you get like this!" Mom pleaded and I knew exactly what she meant, I hated it too, and lately it just seemed to be getting worse and worse.  
  
"I don't give a damn what you hate, and I don't give a damn if the boys wake up, especially that lazy ass son of ours Yamato!" He continued to shout and I was terrified at the mere mention of my own name.  
  
"No!" Mom shouted back forgetting to watch her tone. "You will not bring Matt into this fight, he hasn't even done anything wrong this time!" Yeah I thought to my self, I haven't done anything wrong this time.  
  
"I'll do whatever I damn well please, and if I want to I'll go in there right now and show our Mr. Tough guy son who's boss!" He fired back and I hugged my pillow for comfort. Please I thought, please don't come in here, please stop fighting, please stop!   
  
"You will do no such thing, your drunk, your not going anywhere near those boys when your drunk, now go to sleep so that you can sober up!" Mom said bringing the level of her voice back down. Yes, I thought, just go to sleep, please just go to sleep!  
  
And then "Matt." I jumped as I felt someone tugging at my sheet and rolled over to see TK at the foot of my bed, his big blue eye's sad and confused. "Matt why are mommy and daddy fighting?" He asked in a tiny voice.  
  
I wasn't quite sure how to answer the question so I whipped my eye's and said simply "Dad just broke one of moms vases." And then seeing the unsatisfied and worried look in my little brothers eye's added "Don't worry TK, everything will be all right."  
  
TK continued to look at me from the bottom of my bed and I could still here Mom and dad fighting in the background, I knew how scared my brother was, because I was just as scared myself, if not more so then him. "Matt." He said my name again. "Can I sleep in your bed tonight?"  
  
I gave him a weak smile and nodded my head. "Yeah TK, c'mon." TK was immediately laying by my side curling up and hugging the stuffed animal he'd brought over from his bed. I covered him up and wrapped my arms around him to keep him warm and block the maddening shouts coming from the next room, partly to keep myself from bursting into tears once again.  
  
"Thanks Matt." TK said closing his eye's as he lay comfortably in my arms. And I couldn't help but smile a little knowing I was doing what I was put on this hellish unforgiving earth to do, protect my little brother.  
  
"Your welcome, g'night little brother." I said closing my own eye's and doing my best to pretend that the fighting in the next room had seised to exist.   
  
"G'night Matt." TK replied and we both feel into a silent slumber.  
  
  
~~~Two months latter~~~  
  
It wasn't long after that, that Mom and dad decided it would be best to call it quits. TK didn't really understand what they meant but I sure did, and I was anything but thrilled. Sure I knew that a divorce would stop the fighting, but I also knew that it would split me and my brother up, and I was so scared that he would end up with my father. After Mom filed for the divorce we went to court a lot, I didn't particularly like court, having to wear that itchy blue suit and keep quiet and I knew TK didn't like it either.   
  
Both Mom and dad wanted TK but Mom was really the only one that mentioned where I should go, she wanted us both to stay with her, but dad just wouldn't have it. He said that she could have me if she wanted me so bad but that would make TK his and Mom just wouldn't hear of it, I wouldn't either.   
  
The whole court thing lasted awhile, it really was one of those messy custody battles that hurt the kids the most and both me and my brother knew it. I was so tired of it all, they just kept asking the same questions over and over again, why should you get TK and why shouldn'd he/she. But no one ever asked us what we wanted, who cared where TK and I wanted to go. They said that we were to young to make that kind of decision, to young to understand the significance our answer would have the impact it would have on our lives, and maybe for TK that was true, he was after all only four-years-old but me, I understood completely. I knew exactly what was going on and if only they knew the things that were running through my head.  
  
Well, eventually they did ask me what I wanted, shocking as it may seem. They said that this was a delicate situation and that it was going no where fast and then they told me to choose. The choice was quit simple for me, Mom or dad, Mom of coarse, but then again that was before they told me the circumstances behind my decision. "We've decided that the only way to make this fair is if both of your parent's get one of you. You'll get to go with the parent you want to." The lawyer informed me. "And your brother will go with the other."  
  
My heart sank upon hearing the words. If I chose to go with my mother like I wanted to then TK would end up with dad, and if TK went with Mom I would end up with dad. And I had to ask my self which one was worse and who meant more to me. What was more important to me, my happiness or my brother's?   
  
And so not long after that I found myself on the stand answering the hardest question I'd ever had to answer in my life and wishing that they had stuck to there original plans and not given me a choice at all. "Now Matt." Mom's lawyer who was woman began in a sweet tone careful not to make me any more uncomfortable then I already was. "We've decided it's best to leave this decision up to you, who do you want to live with, your mother or your father?" She asked.  
  
I just sat there and stared at her, it was like I'd suddenly tensed up, and I felt like crying though I knew that wasn't an option. "I...I..." I began realizing that I'd been sitting to long without a response.   
  
"Yes, Yamato?" The lawyer coaxed using my full name.  
  
I continued to stare at her uncertainly. "I...." C'mon Matt, whose more important to you, who do you care about more, you or TK? "I.....I want to go with my dad." I blurted out and then quickly looked away not wanting to see the hurt look that crossed my mothers face.  
  
"All right then." The judge began. "Yamato Ishida will go with Mr. Ishida, and Takeru Ishida will go with Miss Takaishi. Court adjourned."  
  
  
~~~Flash back end~~~  
  
  
It was the hardest decision I'd ever had to make in my life, and probably the hardest I ever would. After that I moved with my father to Odaiba and I rarely got to see my Mom or brother. It actually wasn't as bad as it sounds, my dad's sober now, he has been for over a year now and he works at the local TV station, but I still prefer it when he's not around. Not that he's still like that any more, he's really changed a lot, in fact if you didn't know him back then he'd seem like a really nice guy, he is really, I just prefer to be alone is all, it's what I'm used to.  
  
But at least now, after this hectic battle in the digiworld ends and we can go home and live life the way we used to and I'm back with my dad, I guess I will always have my friends, and I'll always have my brother. Even though I'll always feel like I'm lost and alone with nowhere to go, I'll always have them to prove me wrong. And TK, he'll always be there to show me what I could have been if such terrible events hadn't occurred in my life, a care free child with a love for life.   
  
My little brother, not so little any more, he's grown up so much and he doesn't need me now, not like he needed me before, not the way I always thought he would, but in a way maybe he still does. To this day I don't think he realizes what I did for him back then, back when I was even younger then he is now, I don't even know if I want him to know but at least I know it was the right thing for me to do.   
  
I think it was on that day when I realized just how much my brother meant to me, I mean now I wouldn't even hesitate to do such a deed, it's just something that comes naturally I guess. It was on that day that I realized what's become sort of a second nature to me, that I'll do anything for my little brother, for that sweet innocent child who had become my soul propose for surviving, and the only thing in my life that I truly love. And I know that above all other things in my life there's one thing that'll never change, that I'll do anything for my brother, from now until the day I die, I'll do anything.   
  
~~~  
The End  
~~~  
  
A/N: OK, that's it, kind of a depressing fic with kind of a hopeful(ish) ending. Once again, I know that a court would never let a seven-year-old decide the fate of him and his brother in a case like this, but it sounded good so I used it! Plus about Matt's dad see he's not so bad any more, like I said I tried to fix it so please don't flame me for the way I made him act!!! Well, that's about it, hope you liked this! C'ya. 


End file.
